Suddenly Back In Love

Okay, I am a very emotional person.
Signs, Dates, Months, whatever.
It all leads to I'm a really big block of emotional carcasses of some sort.

And now I feel like I'm in love again.

January 1st was the day I declared that I'm dedicating my random-fangirl live to DBSK, heavily biased upon Changmin. As months passed, I knew more and more about that tall hottie and the rest of his gang. And not long after, I made my first fanfic, officially declaring my blind jump into a deeper depth of the fangirling world.

However years of being a fangirl taught me a lot, and one of it is about a habit that had developed in me for quickly changing objects of affections. I had never been addicted long enough to one thing before I met DBSK. And as experience lectured, moments where I found myself skipping their songs whenever iTunes shuffled them and other examples of boredom flourished at quite an alarming rate.

But then comes moments, small ones in fact, where I cannot hold myself but to fall deeper and deeper. Everytime I see his pic, I cannot hold myself to squee, even if I held my mouth back in terror after doing that in the middle of a classroom. Other examples were abound, chasing rates with the times where my adoration faded into the back of my head. But I keep falling.

One of the moments happened just now, which was the reason I made this writing and admitted that I am sickly in love with something that I will never be able to reach.

I was reading Harry Potter, with iTunes on loud and shuffling through my whole collection, in which asian pop only holds 1/4 of it, and smartly he shuffled Mirotic, the song that had thrown DBSK into my heart in a milisecond. And oddly, when the chapter ended and I took a break for a breath it was on Changmin's second verse. (Ne morrisokul pagodeunun nalkaro un nunbit. Yeah I memorized the lyrics, I love the song.) And I fell, seriously felt my heart melted while waving a white flag and saying, "Yup. THIS is why I love the guy."

Maybe destiny, maybe obsession, maybe love.
I'll just hope one day I'll know what. Still in or already out of the hole, I want to know why I fell in the first place, logically and thoroughly.

But love isn't logical, right?