Suddenly Back In Love

Okay, I am a very emotional person.
Signs, Dates, Months, whatever.
It all leads to I'm a really big block of emotional carcasses of some sort.

And now I feel like I'm in love again.

January 1st was the day I declared that I'm dedicating my random-fangirl live to DBSK, heavily biased upon Changmin. As months passed, I knew more and more about that tall hottie and the rest of his gang. And not long after, I made my first fanfic, officially declaring my blind jump into a deeper depth of the fangirling world.

However years of being a fangirl taught me a lot, and one of it is about a habit that had developed in me for quickly changing objects of affections. I had never been addicted long enough to one thing before I met DBSK. And as experience lectured, moments where I found myself skipping their songs whenever iTunes shuffled them and other examples of boredom flourished at quite an alarming rate.

But then comes moments, small ones in fact, where I cannot hold myself but to fall deeper and deeper. Everytime I see his pic, I cannot hold myself to squee, even if I held my mouth back in terror after doing that in the middle of a classroom. Other examples were abound, chasing rates with the times where my adoration faded into the back of my head. But I keep falling.

One of the moments happened just now, which was the reason I made this writing and admitted that I am sickly in love with something that I will never be able to reach.

I was reading Harry Potter, with iTunes on loud and shuffling through my whole collection, in which asian pop only holds 1/4 of it, and smartly he shuffled Mirotic, the song that had thrown DBSK into my heart in a milisecond. And oddly, when the chapter ended and I took a break for a breath it was on Changmin's second verse. (Ne morrisokul pagodeunun nalkaro un nunbit. Yeah I memorized the lyrics, I love the song.) And I fell, seriously felt my heart melted while waving a white flag and saying, "Yup. THIS is why I love the guy."

Maybe destiny, maybe obsession, maybe love.
I'll just hope one day I'll know what. Still in or already out of the hole, I want to know why I fell in the first place, logically and thoroughly.

But love isn't logical, right?

Piano Practice

I'm a little bit nervous about my practice today.
It's been weeks since my teacher got mad at my playing.
I've been really addled lately...
I need to practice more I guess, but who blame DBSK to be so distracting?

Well, For Chrissy. XD

Ah yes, since this would be a post intended for a particular person (Hi Chris!), but feel free to read it.
Be mindful that I will not hold back to unleash hell on you should you decide to steal this for your own fame and glory and not credit me at least one inch. XD

===

Okay. It's MinSu. XD and chaptered.
So it's a totally different 'verse, where Junsu is a regular high-school kid who is a big fan of the famous rock icon, Choikang. (It's Changmin, with his powerful high pitches and snarky attitude.) He was quite exiled in the school from the boys, since his cheery attitude made him more popular with girls than most of him but he showed no attraction to them. His fandom is die hard, supported by his female friends as well.
One day, he watched Choikang's show on TV, and decided to make a plushie of him. He finished the doll well late at night and decided to fall asleep. At 3AM, he heard a crash from the table and woke up shocked. And on top of the table, there was the plushie, alive! He was shocked beyond comprehension. He had an argument with the doll and at 5AM the doll suddenly fall dead again. Junsu called it a nightmare and decided to sleep again.
The next night, the same thing happened again, and this time the doll had enough control over it's body and managed to muffle Junsu in his sleep, waking him abruptly. Then they decided to discuss about how does it happen. Since they couldn't make any sense, and the doll himself refused to be called a doll since he believes that he is Choikang (and able to reach the same pitches) they decided to be friends for the time.
And then shojo episodes happen.
notable ideas for the episodes were:
1. Junsu came home sobbing because he was rejected by his crush, Yoochun. Doll!Choikang got mad for no reason and entertained Junsu with his ideas of what he would do to the guy that made him crying.
2. Jae is shocked to see his little brother talking to himself at night, decided to pounce on the two several times, all of which failed comically.
3. Yunho is so mad at the now lazy Choikang, being the good manager that he is.
In the end, it turns out that:
1. The day that Junsu made the doll, a blue moon was on the sky.
2. Junsu had secretly wished for a companion like Choikang while he was making the doll.
3. He left the doll under the blue moon's shine.
4. Changmin fell asleep under the blue moon, on the car leaning to the window on his way back from a show with Yunho driving.
5. His soul got transferred into the doll.
6. Everytime he falls asleep, his soul will go into the doll and animates it.
7. Day by day his intervals of being asleep would go longer and longer.
8. He fell into a coma one day, and his soul could stay in the doll for a whole day.
as happy as he is to be next to his idol, Junsu advised Changmin to return to his body and forget about him, since he has more people to entertain and lighten their day up. Junsu kissed the doll before the soul left, and he cried.
The next night, 3AM he felt something nudging him, and when he woke up the real, skin-and-flesh Changmin was in front of him, kissing him. XD

Yes, it's crappy, I know...
other facts about the story that I conjured up:
1. Jae and Junsu isn't actually related, they're orphans and met in an orphanage. Jae never had high school because he decided to go to mechanic school to learn how to be a mechanic and get employed as quick as he can before his age reaches 18, where he has to leave the orphanage. When the time comes, he took Junsu away under his care since they were so close back in the orphanage. Jae had a family until an accident took them away when he's 5, and Junsu was a baby left in the orphanage, that's why he wanted to give Junsu, who he already took as his own little brother, a proper family. He send Junsu to a local high school while he worked his already-flat ass off everyday while looking for a proper spouse to create a family that Junsu can safely call home.

2. Back in the orphanage, Junsu was often mistaken for a girl since not only he looks kinda like a girl, he was more interested in playing with them, only for soccer he would leave his girl friends and get dirty. One of the girly things that he learned back in the orphanage was how to make plushies to be sold in the local market and raise some extra money for the orphanage. He really liked it and creates cute pieces with it. His dolls were always the most expensive and prettiest and he brought quite some profits for the orphanage, which is one of the reason that Jae had a hard time trying to take him out of the orphanage and into his care.

3. Changmin was actually an orphan at the same place, best friends with Jae and Su. When Su was 6-years old, Changmin was adopted by a rich couple and wasn't allowed to contact his old friends back in the orphanage. It all happened when Junsu had a huge fever and he couldn't believe the story either, so he went into a tantrum and removed the memory forever in his mind. Jae remembers, so does Changmin. When one day Su told doll!min why he had made a doll in the first place, Min was quite shocked, not to mention when Jae jumped on them, he felt like he had known the person. He proved his suspicion one night when he sneaked into Jae's room and confronted him alone, while Junsu was asleep. Both of them decided to keep it a secret from the duck until the end.

4. I wonder where I should put Junho in this mix.

and that's all I had concocted. So, Chrissy, Susu, Goddess, dear, pleaaaaase tell me what do you think of it! It's okay if you say it's all rubbish or something less worthy than that, I can see it too. But if you liked it, wanna do it as a joint piece? I know I'm asking much, given you're in hiatus and all but I would really be ecstatic if you could. I understand if you don't want to, though. A simple no would suffice for dear old me! XD
and if there are parts that you hate, tell me about it and I'll change it! okay?

===

On a more daily events,
I HAD TO WALK HOME TODAY.
IN THE MOTHER FREAKING RAIN.

It had rained quite hard and I already expected there would be less cab to catch or bajaj (three-wheelers) to ride home, but what I haven't expected was that I FORGOT TO PUT MY UMBRELLA IN MY BAG THIS MORNING. MOTHER FUCKING !@#$%^&*&^%$#@!#.
And it turns out it had rained GODDAMN HARD. There was the usual traffic jam from the rain in front of school so I had no bad feelings when I went across the street with no umbrella. Only after I saw that the usual spot for bajaj and found out that there were nobody parked there, I had the bad jibes in my ibbie-jibbies. So I walked to the main road, and there was MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, and holy lord no three-wheelers that are empty to catch! It was obvious that I would have to walk. damn.

and the shortcut that I usually took to get home sooner was FLOODED. KNEE-HIGH. GODDAMMIT, TROPIC SHOWER. FUCK YOU. I had to go around the block and cross more wet streets under the rain. My thighs were burning by the time I arrived home. damn!

oh well, so much for ranting. Now I won't go to my english course because I am mad and I have no more energy to leave home. So bye for now, I'm going to slumber like a princess to rest my poor, poor legs...

===

my MSN is bayuuajikyut@hotmail.com
joint with my bro.

Jai HO!

Be it known that I'm not a really big fan of Yunjae.
and ironically, this ear-catching song is Jaeho indeed.

have a go at The Pussycat Dolls' new song, Jai Ho!
Made for the oscar-winning movie, Slumdog Millionaire.
It's indian beat is really nice to my ears, and perfect for dancing.
Uplifting lyrics and melody are a good way to start the day
or even just to perk you up on bad days!


will edit with proper song link once I found them.
Or i'll up them myself If I have to!

Regaining Grounds

SOOOOO HI THERE!
It's me, becc! from secretly_kanna in LJ.

Since I'm too lazy to actually have to accounts in LJ and log in and out to access the two, I'll have my personal blog over here!
Well, it's not as if Secretly is not a personal blog, it's just that I have more moral burden to actually flood it with emotional distresses, so I create this where I can just post rubbish and nothings to all my glee without remorse or responsibility.
Now I have almost more than 5 accounts. Gee whiz. XD

well, see you soon!
-becc!